I've not been in a movie theater more than a dozen times in recent years.....like neurotic Bobby Fisher, who disdained the interjection of a squeaky chair or a cough from the balcony, I've abandoned attendance at any 'event' that is filled with slurping, chewing, texting, talking people...(and I can, of course, be one of those 'TALKERS', if the Film is less interesting than washing hubcaps).....Recently, on a dare, which I accepted.....ummmmm.....I was given the 'opportunity' to attend 'the movie of my choice'......looking over the 'offerings' at local cinema houses, I spotted, from the sidewalk: "Directed by Luca Guadagnino", who had created one of my favorite films, I AM LOVE.......Do I need to relive my teen-age frustrations? Why not? What reasons do millions of us need to attend Marvel Comics adaptations of youthful superhero fantasy fixations, romantic comedies or slaphappy excesses of complicity in terrors and delights? Then, I noticed Hugh Jackman's new 'vehicle'......immediately, recalling LIKE WATER FOR ELEPHANTS.......Yes, this one! Wait.....the Christopher Plummer 'replacement for humiliated Kevin Spacey' film!.....maybe..... In my youth, I averaged seeing about 5 movies a week! Now, it's a struggle to drive out of my driveway into the bustling World out 'there'....Well, maybe for an "Epic" in 3-D, smellorama, even the allure of Super-Vistavision Cinerama with Masturbatory Vibrating Seating....but there is none of that...(dismissing super-hero-power fantasy films)......December is a good month for "movies"....that I usually wait a couple of years to watch....at home, for 'free'.......Wait...Wait! there are a few hundred great films in my home library that I've not seen, or have almost forgotten (and need to re-watch)......o.k. Showtime....step it up! .......I gave, with sweat on my brow, the 'free pass' away.........Whew!
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